


My Dearest

by annusmiribalis



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Except the last one, Letters, M/M, a couple letters from the two, i just wanted to publish the letters, they go together, this is messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-19 00:18:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10628211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annusmiribalis/pseuds/annusmiribalis
Summary: Letters to and from Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens regarding their feelings towards each other when Aaron Burr injured Alexander. John is just happy he's okay.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> jsjdns im sorry this is such a Mess i wanted to publish this. the next chapter will just be a short letter before the aaron-alex duel. don't expect much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @thxtommy hmu

_Alexander,_

_I hope you are well. Burr was unprecedented in his behaviour towards you; my only hope is that you get out safe and are returned to me in good health. Since I am in the dark about your stability, there is only one thing I am able to do to ease my worries. I think it is time that I tell you I love you._

_I have been mulling over this possibility for months on end, both too scared of your reaction and my ability to deal with it. However, since that despicable man has hurt you, my dear Hamilton, the only thing I have been able to think about is yourself. It is with great sentiment and regret—on my part, if you do not reciprocate—that I write these words._

_Whatever the outcome, I will be forever_

_Yours,_

_John Laurens_

"A-Alex?" John stuttered, his face forming into a lopsided grin as he saw the man in front of him. "You're okay- you're okay.. Lex-"  
The low laugh of Alexander halted him somewhat, and the man took this as a sign to talk.  
"My dear Laurens," Alexander let another chuckle slip, "Of course I am. You think I couldn't deal with Burr? Really," he took a step toward him, noticing John's rather deep breaths with a questioning look. "What do you think of me?"  
"Alex..." John trailed off, trying to place the words that were running through his head so as not to sound odd.  
"I was so scared. I was so scared of what was going to happen. I-I couldn't do anything other than write that letter- I'm sorry, I'm sorry... but you're here. You're really okay. God, Alexander." Laurens seemed to have stabled slightly, Alexander noted, by the use of his full name. "You scared me. Asshole."  
"Hey," Alexander took a few more steps forward and pulled John into his arms, rubbing his back in circles that slowly eased the man's breaths and relaxed him. He grasped Alexander's shoulders and nestled his head into his neck, taking in the smell that was undeniably his. It was so like his Alex that he almost wanted to cry, to cry and to curse himself, too, because Alexander hadn't acknowledged it, hadn't responded... He tensed for the second time, but the soothing feeling of holding Alex calmed him again.  
"Oh, and by the way, John."  
Alexander raised his head and let a little smile curve his features, his eyes twinkling. It took all of John's willpower not to melt, to cave in to months and months of temptation and kiss him.  
He only gave a questioning glance.  
"I did like your letter."  
John's world felt like it had stopped. It felt like it had stopped, but at the same time like it was going a hundred miles an hour. He stared and said nothing, waiting for another sentence which never came.  
Instead, Alex leaned in and kissed him, who promptly realised what the feeling was; it was the feeling of being alive.

_My Dearest,_  
_I trust you are aware of my feelings towards both your letter and yourself by now. Although it is not needed—I believe I conveyed my opinions on you, among other aspects of you, perfectly well last night— I decided I would follow your example and discuss things in this form._  
_My Dear, I have reciprocated your feelings for as long as you have harboured them, maybe even longer. Nothing brings me greater delight than the sight of you, which ever grows with every passing day. I have often said with jest that I despise everything in the world but you, Laurens, and I say now that it is more true than it has ever been._  
_I cut this letter short to keep some sentiments to show you in person. Expect them well._  
_Yrs_  
_A. Hamilton_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander writes a letter to his beloved Laurens before he duels Aaron. He puts it on his grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mean im sorry?? no im not   
> i wrote this and it has no connection w/ the previous chapter but i liked it so.., here  
> @thxtommy :)

_My Dearest, Laurens,_

_I am writing to you on the subject of what I am sure would have alarmed you. In a few short hours I will be duelling Aaron Burr, as a result of our mutual disputes and his utter refusal to accept satisfaction for what I can only call my most lenient words. Now, you were, I am sure, aware of my feelings towards the man, and I hope this result does not shock you. I wonder, Dear, if you would try and stop me._

_I write to you on the condition that I may be joining you soon. I hope that the Lord grants me this small mercy, and that I am able to see you, a person I have unrelentingly missed since the fateful day of your departing. If it is so, hold in your heart the consolation that I will be with you soon, and, my Dearest, that I shall not let you forget me again._

_Yrs for ever,_

_A. Hamilton_


End file.
